Growing up in a Christian community, I thought I understood faith. But it wasn’t until I faced my struggles and surrendered to God’s presence that I found true purpose. My journey from a carefree youth to a committed missionary in Africa was marked by profound spiritual experiences and miraculous transformations. Through God’s guidance, I overcame addiction, found a supportive community, and embraced a fulfilling life dedicated to sharing His message.
My understanding of Christianity is deeply influenced by the community I grew up in. However, you don’t become a Christian just because your parents are, any more than being born in a garage makes you a car. Our Heavenly Father is omnipresent but never forces Himself upon us. He waits patiently to reveal Himself to those who give Him the chance. It was a profound experience when I turned around and finally became aware of His presence. I fell on my face before Him, surrounded by His holy light, illuminating the darkest corners of my life.
My entire life flashed before me, like someone staring death in the face. My old life died then. The price was paid, old things laid down, and our heavenly Father accepts us as we are. He did the work, giving us new life. For years, I thought I had to change first, relying on my strength to be good. The Father’s Word says no one is good; we are all sinners and cannot boast of our goodness. We are slaves to sin from birth. It’s easier to sin than to be good. I had to reach the end of my self-righteousness to realize how much I needed the Father. That’s why I couldn’t experience renewal before.
A new life, a new name. Jacob’s story took on new meaning for me. Like Jacob, I wrestled with the Father until daybreak. His promise, confirmed through Jacob’s story, is that He will protect me wherever I go, bring me back to the promised land, and never abandon me. This is the miracle of a relationship with the Maker of the universe. He wants to teach us; He is the Rabbi. We shouldn’t rely on people or books but on an intimate relationship with Him, where we learn incredible lessons and receive the greatest blessings.
Reflecting on my journey, the desire that drove me to the mission field contrasts with my understanding today. I had a strong urge to tell others about the Messiah, leading me to Zambia and Zimbabwe. Africa called me, and I wanted to share His message. Instantly, I overcame the desire to smoke marijuana and never needed drugs again. There were no withdrawal symptoms or cravings.
With victory came liberation. I started attending church regularly. The gentle AGS pastor and his wife became my friends, treating me like family. We often went camping together. The first few months after my conversion were lonely, as my worldly friends rejected me. When I visited, they were distant and uncomfortable, leaving one by one. I spent hours alone by the lagoon, asking God to send me new friends. My first new friend was Sonja, a beautiful, talented young woman with long black hair and stunning green eyes. Our circle grew, and soon we had a large group of young people from various churches. On Sunday nights, we gathered to discuss sermons, often finding they shared the same message, confirming many things in my heart. The Spirit of the Creator God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The greatest miracle is that the living God speaks to me, a small and insignificant person, confirmed by others.
Hearing the Creator is indescribable. For example, on Monday, I might read a Bible passage that addresses an issue in my life. Throughout the week, the message builds, like an invisible thread weaving everything together. Tuesday, a sermon on the radio, and Wednesday, a casual conversation on the same topic, culminating in a Sunday sermon on the same subject. This confirms that the Father speaks through His Word, others, conversations, sermons, or songs. This experience has been constant throughout my walk with the Heavenly Father, teaching me to listen and hear His voice. He never says anything I can’t find in His Word, confirmed by multiple witnesses. This way, I know the great and mighty Heavenly Father has spoken!
Pastor Jan was a wonderful mentor, helping me build a support structure for my mission vision. He encouraged me to join youth groups in South Africa, forming a circle of friends who prayed for and supported me. He also helped identify a contact person to circulate my newsletters before email. The pastor’s guidance was invaluable, even when it contrasted with his vision for me and the Father’s wonderful plan.
Finding my purpose has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my journey. Realizing that I am called to serve and share the message of the Messiah has given my life profound meaning. The path I have walked, though filled with challenges, has been incredibly rewarding. Knowing that I am fulfilling God’s plan for me brings immense joy and satisfaction. The sense of direction and purpose has transformed my life, making every step a testimony to His grace and love.
